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Chapter 3x: Spooky, Scary...

Opening

kyra
So, where are we now?
Reminds me of that clown's mansion of horrors...
demeter
These are the purgatories.
Pocket dimensions where the truly wicked are punished for their sins.
Mostly by being exposed to their deepest fears.
And dying. Dying over and over and over and...
kyra
That's a bit much, isn't it? Is it really necessary?
demeter
Depends. Do you like living, Kyra?
kyra
...Yeah?
demeter
(smiles) Where do you think the energy that sustains life comes from, silly?
We generate it by working the souls of the wicked hard!
kyra
......
You know, I was hoping this dream would be fun.
But so far it's being a whole lot of existential horror...
demeter
Ahhhh, relax, Kyra! That won't happen to you!
(frowns) Anyway, we've got to go through a few of these,
until I find a little crack to slip into our destination...
Just try not to--
(Ziying starts.)
Ziying
...!
kyra
Hm? Ziying? Something the matter?
(Ziying runs off and Kyra chases after.)
demeter
...Interact with the denizens of the purgatories...

(smiles) Well, this is definitely going to get messy!

(Ziying and Kyra find Alastor hiding in one of the cells. He flinches.)
alastor
Ow! Oww! Dammit, man! What's wrong with you?!
ziying
......
kyra
The colonel guy!
alastor
Tartaros's rebels? Fancy seeing you end up in this lovely place.
What'd you do? Became a tyrant worse than the one before?
kyra
Not really. I just went home after all was said and done.
As for how we ended up here, uh... It's complicated.
alastor
Good for you. My story isn't complicated at all.
I didn't even get to go to Hell, as you can see.
I'm stuck here until they feel I've served my sentence.
Be honest now, Kyra! I wasn't THAT bad, was I?
ziying
......
alastor
...Okay, sure, I set a bunch of kids on fire for a bag of coins.
But c'mon! That was how many years ago? It's not fair!
demeter
(frowns) Yeah, yeah, very nice. Can we go, Kyra?
This really isn't the place to do sightseeing.
(smiles) Even if the sights are really something here, right?
kyra
I guess damp, dark and dreary would constitute “something,” wouldn't it...
Well, uh, it's been... Nice? Seeing you again?
(Alastor panics.)
alastor
Wait!!
You can't go... You have to help me out!
kyra
Help you out? That's rich.
Help you out with what, anyway?
alastor
T-The horrors...
You don't understand, Kyra! It is worse than any nightmare!
Day in and day out, we're killed by unimaginable abominations!
It's going to start again soon... But with you here, maybe...!
(Alastor trembles.)
alastor
Y-You have to help us! We'll do anything you want!
We'll assist you with whatever it is that brought you here!
Just, please... D-Don't let them take me ag--
(Alastor freaks out.)
alastor
AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! THEY'RE HERE!!
ziying
...!
(Skeletons teleport in and surround Alastor.)
kyra
...Really? That's it? A bunch of skeletons?
What are you, five?
demeter
Well, we can't leave until this ends, so...
Guess we might as well give them a hand now.
Here's hoping she doesn't notice something's off here...
kyra
Who's this “she” you keep talking about?
demeter
(smiles) I'll tell you later! What's the rush?
kyra
Oh, c'mon! You said the same thing before--
demeter
Preparations time!
narrator
If Alastor dies in this map, it is game over.
Marina and Nestor dying has no effect, though, so don't worry about them.

Conversations

If a deployed Alastor engages with any enemy

alastor
G-Gaaaah! Sweet mother of--!
There's already one me to protect here!
There was no need to deploy me, dammit!
Why would you do this to me, you dick?!

Alastor

Combat

alastor
No! No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Death

alastor
AAAAAUUUUURGH!!!
GWAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
OWIIIIEEEE!!

Marina

Combat

marina
Is it time to die horribly already?
But we were in the middle of our checkers game...

Death

marina
I was just about to beat Nestor, too... Dang it.

Nestor

Combat

nestor
......

Death

nestor
...Huh? Did you say something?

Exenius

Combat

exenius
I AM GOD

Combat w/ Polonius

polonius
Mirror match? Eeheeheeheehee!
But I am way more powerful than you!
Not to mention handsome. And tidy!
Wipe that blood off your face, you miscreant!
exenius
I AM OFFENDED

Death

exenius
I AM HURTY

Ending

alastor
(grins) Hahahaha! It's over! We survived the onslaught!
I win! The gods lose!
Hahahahaha... Hahahahahahaha!
demeter
(smiles) Wow, we did it! We interfered with the divine process!
kyra
Am I going to end up in this place for this...?
demeter
(still smiling) Naaah. Everyone gets their own purgatory. I don't think yours will look like this!
kyra
Great. As long as we're clear about that.
alastor
Kyra, I'm eternally grateful to you.
Far as I'm concerned, the past is bygones! Or something like that!

Marina! Nestor! Get your butts over here!

(They do so.)
alastor
Look at this! The gang's reunited!
And we get to stretch our legs and leave this damp cellar for a change!
Isn't this great, guys?
marina
I guess we won't get to finish our checkers game, then...
kyra
How do you even play checkers in a place like this?
marina
Oh, simple enough. First we find a particularly dusty tile.
We draw squares on the dust. Then we pick up a few pebbles.
There you go. That's all you need.
kyra
Huh. That's pretty resourceful.
But how do you tell which pebbles belong to whom?
marina
Well, the pebbles are dusty too.
All we need is for one player to lick their pebbles clean of dust.
kyra
You know, I think I was a happier person before I knew that.
marina
Usually whoever lost the previous game has to do the licking.
It makes the games feel surprisingly high stakes.
kyra
...Right.
So, uh... Demeter. What now?
demeter
(frowns) I'm on it, I'm on it.
Opening interdimensional portals is not that easy, y'know.

(smiles) Okay, here we go. Onward and upward, everybody!

(They leave.)
ziying
......
nestor
...Mm? What did you say?
Hey, where's everybody going? Did they say?
ziying
(closes eyes) ......
polonius
(grinning) Eeheeheeheehee!
Demonic energy overflows in this dark plane of existence!
Truly, only the most devilish mind could have devised such a place!
Small wonder that its overlord resembles me, master of evil!
delilah
(smiles) Master of evil? You? Don't make me laugh.
You're not even the most evil member of our party.
zaccheus
(smiles) Ahaha... Yes, at risk of sounding somewhat smug, I do believe I hold that distinction, thank you very much.
polonius
You?! Gnat!
simeon
What did you do, in truth?
Extort payment from clueless, foppish peasants?
Hah! We were already doing that! We're nobles!
zaccheus
Truly, how dreadful, war's horrors.
(frowns) ...I must admit, however, that I am confused by your presence here.
Why don't you go and hang out with the other children, hmm?
(Simeon huffs.)
simeon
(scowls) Zaccheus, you imbecile!
Even now you wish to bicker with me?!
And over such a menial topic, too!
zaccheus
(smirks) Oho! You want to talk menial? Let's talk menial!
Look at that ridiculous haircut you sport without a shred of shame!
Does it take you long, or is this just your bedhair?
simeon
I have a sense of fashion, unlike a certain someone!
No imagination! No style! And you dare poke fun at me?!
Even the “necromancer” over there looks better than you!
(Zaccheus balks.)
zaccheus
(scowls) Why, you-- I'll kill you for this!
simeon
I'm already dead, you dullard!
zaccheus
Well, I find DOUBLE DEATH civilizes barbarians best!
simeon
Who are you calling a barbarian, barbarian?!
(They descend into a slapfight.)
polonius
...Soooo I'm the most evil person here, am I right or am I right?
delilah
Haha... Please.
I tried to kill the old man, and then I kidnapped him.
I manipulated Kyra into sparing me and taking me along.
I've killed so many, before and during our little journey.
And in the end? I got away with everything.
I really don't think it's possible to best me at this game.
nicaea
I murdered my twin sister.
delilah
(frowns) Okay, that's pretty bad.
polonius
(frowns) Yikes... Stay away from my sister, you creep.
???
Amateurs.
delilah
Huh? What was that...?
(The camera pans to Laertes, who has been standing behind everyone.)
Laertes
Amateurs.

Character Descriptions

Exenius
He's bleeding hyper-realistic blood from his eyes. That's terrifying.

Alastor
First colonel of the Tartaran holy army. A former mercenary who was handpicked by Grand Inquisitor Sandraudiga.

Nestor
One of Colonel Alastor's lieutenants. A man with an uncanny ability to drown out the world and focus solely on his foe.

Marina
One of Colonel Alastor's lieutenants. A woman whose past is as shrouded in mystery as her visage.

[Nestor, Marina, and Ziying all have C-rank support with each other. (Nothing with Alastor, though.)]

Undead
Unimaginable abominations supposedly summoned by the necromancer.

Entombed
Some manner of miracle, or nightmare, devised by a sorcerer of great power.

Wight
Skeletons driven by terrible magic. They can wield many weapons.

Elder Bael
Magic-infused giant spiders. Their venom is lethal.

Arch Mogall
Mogall whose dread power exceeds that of their lesser cousins. They don't even exist in this hack!