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Chapter 1x: Return to Form

Opening

(Kyra is hunting in the woods outside Percote. She looses an arrow at her prey, but misses.)
kyra
...Dammit. There goes our dinner.
It's getting dark, too... No luck today, I guess.
I'll have to swing by the marketplace.
I could get some fish. It's been a bit since we had--
???
Ahah!
kyra
...?
(Mopsus charges in.)
mopsus
(grinning) Hah hah hah hah! Surprised, are we?
kyra
Er... Yeah, a little. Do I know you?
mopsus
Feigning ignorance, eh? Hah hah hah hah!
You thought you would never see me again... But I will have my revenge!
Follow me if you dare, huntress!
They will call this chapter of history, The Glorious Charge of Mopsus!
Hah hah hah hah!
(Mopsus charges off.)
kyra
...Well, all right, then.
(Demeter appears behind Kyra.)
demeter
(smiling) Hiii!
(Kyra startles.)
kyra
GAH!!
demeter
Remember me? It's me, the meter!
Get it? De-me-ter? Hee hee...
So nice to see you again, Kyra!
kyra
At least now I know what scared all the animals away.
Too many people in the forest... What's going on here today?
And who was that guy? Do you know him?
demeter
(frowns) Ohh, yeah... About him...
Er, it's kinda my fault.
kyra
What is your fault?
demeter
Come along. I'll explain on the way.
kyra
On the way where? Look, can't this wait until tomorrow?
I still need to go buy something for dinner before it gets dark.
demeter
(smiles) Ooo, what are you gonna get?
I hope you get pistachio ice cream. I loooooove pistachio ice cream.
kyra
What...? No, I'm going to buy some fish. It's for dinner.
demeter
You can have pistachio ice cream for dinner. I do it all the time.
kyra
Well, that's because you're... Y'know. You.
(Demeter jumps to attention.)
demeter
(serious) Oh! But before we can go get ourselves some delicious ice cream (pistachio),
we have to talk about you, everyone you love and the world itself being in danger.
kyra
......
I'm not getting home in time for dinner, am I.
(Demeter takes Kyra to another section of forest.)
kyra
Whoa... What happened to this place?
It looks... weird.
demeter
Yeah, uh... See, I've had so much fun here, I thought it was only fair I'd show you my house.
So I tried to open up a pathway there, but uh...
I kinda sorta broke the space-time continuum.
(smiles) Whoops! Hee hee...
kyra
...What does any of that mean?
demeter
(serious) Life and death are now united as one.
The spirits of those whose lives you took have come back to seek vengeance.
kyra
Wait...

(Kyra starts.)

N-No way! I remember now! That guy, he was...!
Wait, but does that mean...
The inquisition... Dolus... Even--!

demeter
Yep. Even her.
Maybe.
(Kyra shakes.)
kyra
Nooooooooooo!
How do we stop it?! Tell me how to stop it!
demeter
First, we should cross a portal into an alternate dimension.
kyra
Ah, yes, that's what I was thinking too.
demeter
It's not far. I'll take you there.
But be wary. They are out for blood...
kyra
Hope I have enough arrows for this. Let me check my quiver...
demeter
(smiles) Don't worry. I've brought all your things from the war.
Also brought your friends. Even the ones you lost along the way!
That's the convenient part of all this. Look, there they come.
(Apate, Soter, and Pheme approach. Pheme has her original bright-eyed appearance, even if she survived in the main campaign.)

On the first postgame run

apate
Kyra...
soter
(smiles) Ah, my bold, young friend! 'Tis good that we meet again!
In this new adventure, there are no rules!
Therefore, we may once more fight side by side, as one!
Is this not most joyous?
kyra
(scowls) Get the heck out of here, Soter.
(Soter squirms.)
soter
(frowns) Oh, come now! You would've done the same thing in my place!
You, who has only ever known poverty and mediocrity--
kyra
Soter. Go. Now.
pheme
Yeah, I... really do not feel comfortable with you here.
soter
Oh, come now! What did I ever do to you?
(Pheme sputters.)
pheme
What did-- You friggin' murdered me, for one!
soter
W-Well, we've all murdered a lot of people...
kyra
Not gonna tell you again, Soter.
pheme
(smiles) Thanks, Kyra.
soter
(closes eyes) ...Sigh...
(Soter leaves.)

On subsequent runs

apate
Kyra...
soter
(smiles) Ah, my bold, young friend! 'Tis good that we meet again!
In this new adventure, there are no rules!
Therefore, we may once more fight side by side, as one!
Is this not most joyous?
kyra
(scowls) Get the heck out of here, Soter.
(Soter balks.)
soter
(frowns) Again?! Even now, on this second wind, you would refuse me?!
You've let Alastor into your squad! The hierophant!
Sandraudiga! Sandrau friggin' diga!
Are you seriously drawing the line at me at this point?!
kyra
Yes.
soter
......
kyra
And for the record, I didn't want Sandraudiga.
She forced herself into my squad. As she does.
soter
......
kyra
...What the heck...
(Demeter approaches.)
demeter
He's making puppy dog eyes, Kyra. You have to let him join.
kyra
But... He betrayed us...
I... I don't like him, Demeter...
soter
......
apate
Just let him join already so we can proceed, Kyra...
kyra
...Oh, what's the point...
Go ahead, tag along. See if I care.
(Soter pumps his fist.)
soter
(smiles) Ahaha! In excelsis, or whatever it was I said in Latin!
demeter
(smiles) Hurray! And it only took two laps and recruiting the main villain!
pheme
Actually... Uh, if you don't mind me chiming in...
I-I still kinda don't want him to join.
You know... Victim of a brutal murder and all...
kyra
(smiles) Great! Soter, hit the road.
(Soter balks.)
soter
(pouts) You're joking! Y-You can't do this to me!
C'mon! I could be fun to have around! Give me a chance!
The... The roster won't feel complete if I don't join it!
pheme
Feels complete enough to me.
kyra
Yep. Sure does.
(Soter starts crying.)
soter
Boohoohoo! Boohoohoohoo...!
(Soter leaves.)

If Pheme survived

pheme
...You think he remembers he didn't actually manage to kill me?
kyra
I think he's choosing not to remember.
demeter
It's the embarrassment.
apate
......
It will be good to work alongside you again, Kyra.
pheme
(smiles) Yeah! The team's back together again!
As if a lil' thing like death could stop us. Hahaha!

If Pheme survived

pheme
Y'know, stop Lady Apate. Since I survived and all.
apate
Well, look who is smug.
pheme
Teeheehee...
kyra
(smiles) I'm happy to see you again, Apate.

If Pheme was killed

kyra
(smiles) Yeah... I'm happy to see you both.
demeter
(smiles) You're taking this better than I expected, Kyra!
I should've known better than to underestimate you.
kyra
Well, of course. It's obvious what's happening.
I'm dreaming. Must've fallen asleep when I sat in that tree's shade.
I'll wake up and chastise myself for falling asleep when I had to hunt.
So, in the meantime... I'll just have some fun!
demeter
Yeah, let's go with that! That works!
apate
...Our foes approach.
This will be but a taste of things to come...
But it would not do to take this lightly.
Kyra? Let us prepare for battle.
kyra
Okay!
I'll finally get to see what that staff of Sandraudiga's does!
You know, the one you picked up right before you--
apate
I lost it.
kyra
(frowns) Oh.
apate
I still have the essentials. That will have to do.
kyra
...Aww.

If Pheme was killed

pheme
Look on the bright side. At least I'm here!
I'll be very useful to you. After all, I was such a great huntress!
That's why people called me the nimrod.

If Pheme suvived

pheme
Look on the bright side. I'm still here.
Nimrod no longer... Though I'm still a great huntress.
That's why people called me the nimrod.
kyra
Y-Yes. Of course, that's exactly it, Pheme.
narrator
Welcome to the Postgame! I'm glad you have decided to join us in this riveting extra experience.
A couple things to note. The postgame works on a loop - when you finish it, you will return here.
You will also be given the option to return to the start after completing each level, if you want.
Every time, on this first level, all absent units, be dead or unrecruited, will be returned to you.
No units are force deployed, and Kyra and Apate no longer cause a game over on death.
On seize maps, any unit may seize.
You may also visit camp, where every conversation in the game is available to be read.
It is advised to restart camp after viewing any one unit's convos to avoid potential issues.
Lastly, you may recruit a number of bonus units, but these will not appear at camp.

That's all. Sorry to have bothered you. Hope you enjoy yourself in this wacky, wacky Postgame!

Conversations

Ioke

Combat

ioke
It's not fair. You just lucked out last time.
(smiles) But this time... This time I'll teach you!
And then the Grand Inquisitor will handsomely reward me!

Combat w/ Sandy

Both Inquisitor and Lifewringer Sandy trigger this conversation.

ioke
It's not fair. You just lucked out last time.
(smiles) But this time... This time I'll teach you!
And then the Grand Inquisitor will handsomely reward me!

(Ioke starts as she recongizes Sandraudiga.)

Wait, are you fucking kidding me--?!

Death

ioke
Kill me once, shame on you.
Kill me twice, shame on you twice!

Dion

Combat

dion
Even though I literally died on the job, the warden still doesn't want to pay me!
Says since I failed, I don't deserve it...
I'm going to take out my frustrations on you!

Death

dion
I should've unionized...

Mopsus

Combat

mopsus
They'll write a book about all this one day.
Mopsus 2: Moppin' Up the Opposition!
That's right, they'll start with the sequel.
That's how epic I am.

Combat w/ Mopsus

enemy
mopsus
(smiles) Aha! A fake me!
Imitation is the highest form of flattery,
but there can only be one Mopsus!
mopsus
My thoughts exactly!
This shall be an epic fight for the ages!
They'll make movies about this!
enemy
mopsus
Maybe even a TV show!

Defeat

mopsus
I will not... die... a nobody again!

Irene

Combat

irene
(smiling) I like the smell of roses.

Death

irene
I actually can't smell anything.
The cut here damaged my sense of smell.

David

Combat

david
Clearly I was being held back by that rock.
Well, guess what! I don't have it anymore!
Now I can double you to my heart's content!

Explaining the Joke

In the main story, David held a Normal Rock, which prevents either combatant from doubling.

Death

david
Oh, right... Now I remember...
This is why I picked up that rock to begin with...

Explaining the Joke

David has terrible Speed, so the Normal Rock is more likely to benefit him than not.

Goliath

Combat

goliath
(smiling) Now that I've found the boss at last,
and I've got a weapon I can actually lift,
yer all done for!

Explaining the Joke

Goliath has terrible Constitution. In the main story he wielded a Devil Sword, which is one of the heaviest weapons in the game, and was severely weighed down as a result. Here he wields a Slim Sword, the lightest sword in the game.

Death

goliath
How could my slim sword fail me like this?!

Explaining the Joke

The Slim Sword is also the weakest sword in the game.

Eris

Combat

eris
I'm so generic!

Death

eris
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
or recently revived or revived AND rekilled,
is purely coincidental.

Explaining the Joke

Eris is a palette swap of Ioke.

Eudoxus

Combat

eudoxus
(grinning) Hehehe... It was a mistake using magic last we met.
Now you will bear the brunt of my herculean muscles!

Death

eudoxus
(smiling) Oh, who cares. I'm happier in Hell anyway.
People actually recognize my genius there.

Locations

Hippalus' Marketplace of Wonders

Default

hippalus
Welcome, welcome! I bid you hello!
You are now in... Hippalus's Marketplace of Wonders!
What may you find here, I believe you wish to ask?
Why, everything! Just about!
Swords, lances, axes, bows... Tomes... Useful curios...
Now, this is the part where I'd give you a tour...
But I trust you, of all people, can figure it out, hmm?
Instead, I shall give you this. A token of my gratitude.
Please, don't be shy! It is but a pittance.
Nothing compared to the solace your leader brought to my heart.
I pray you will see her through this new predicament safely!

If Kyra is visiting

hippalus
Welcome, welcome! I bid you hello!
You are now in... Hippalus's Marketplace of Wonders!
O-Oh... It's you! So good to see you, young girl...
kyra
Hey. Weird place for a marketplace, isn't it?
hippalus
Perhaps so, but this is no regular old marketplace.
What may you find here, I believe you wish to ask?
Why, everything!
kyra
Everything?
hippalus
Just about!
Swords, lances, axes, bows... Tomes... Useful curios...
Now, this is the part where I'd give you a tour...
But I trust you, of all people, can figure it out, hmm?
Instead, I shall give you this. A token of my gratitude.
kyra
Oh, c'mon, there's no need--
hippalus
Please, don't be shy! It is but a pittance.
Nothing compared to the solace you brought to my heart.
kyra
I forgave you for my sake, too. Don't thank me...
hippalus
Nevertheless, I wish to see you through this new predicament safely.
Please, peruse my wares at your leisure. Buy anything that may be of use!
kyra
...All right, sure. I'll do that. Thanks!

If Glaucus is visiting

glaucus
(smiles) Pops!
hippalus
Welcome, welcome! I bid you hello!
You are now in... Hippalus's Marketplace of Wonders!
What may you find here, I believe you wish to ask?
Why, everything! Just about!
Swords, lances, axes, bows... Tomes... Useful curios...
Now, this is the part where I'd give you a tour...
But I trust you, of all people, can figure it out, hmm?
glaucus
Pretty good sales pitch, Pops. Not too shabby.
hippalus
Did you expect any less, boy? Hahaha...
Please, before you go, take this. A token of my gratitude.
Please, don't be shy! It is but a pittance.
Nothing compared to the solace your leader brought to my heart.
I pray you will see her through this new predicament safely!
glaucus
Giving us money to spend at your marketplace, eh?
Hah... Oh, Pops. Never change...

(Hippalus gives the visitor a White Gem.)

Ending

kyra
All right. That's that. Where to now, Demeter?
demeter
We have to go into that fort there. Then--
???
Ahah!
kyra
Oh, c'mon! Stop that!
(Mopsus charges in.)
mopsus
(grinning) Hah hah hah hah!
kyra
No, I am not surprised. Now go back to Hell already!
mopsus
(frowns) No, no, no, no, no! I don't wanna!
I keep failing and failing and I know exactly why!
kyra
Your own inadequacy?
mopsus
(smiles) I picked the wrong side!
I'll have better luck fighting with you guys.
I am Mopsus! The greatest knight in Tartaros!
Soon you'll be counting your lucky stars I'm with you!
demeter
(smiles) Yay! New guy!
kyra
You've got to be--
(The recruitment music starts playing.)
kyra
Stop! Stop it! I don't want this!
demeter
(frowns) You want me to change the music to something more fitting?
(smiles) Okay! I got just the thing!
(The music changes to Eggman's Gay Circus.)
kyra
No, that's not what I meant!
What is this? Why are we recruiting a guy we killed?!
This smug, moronic, utterly inept buffoon, at that!
demeter
(frowns) Aww, don't be so mean. You said you'd have fun, right?
(smiles) Making really unlikely and illogical friends is fun! Ask anybody!
kyra
I don't want to recruit this guy!
What's next, Demeter? Am I going to be joining forces with Sandraudiga?
demeter
(still smiling) Well... Yes, maybe?
kyra
......
Okay, then.
Let's keep going before this dream turns into a nightmare.
(Kyra leaves.)
demeter
Ah, wait up, Kyra!
(Demeter leaves.)
mopsus
Hah hah hah hah! I'm important now!
They're totally going to deploy me on every battle.
Mopsus, boy, you're just the flingiest!
kairos
My, my... Look at this place. How fascinating...
I wonder how we were transported here.
hecate
One thing's for sure, we're not in Amnisos anymore.
demeter
(smiles) I can answer all your doubts!
You're here because you're all my favorites!
I want my favorites to get a little more time to shine!
kairos
(smiles) Your favorites, huh... How charming.
hecate
Who are you, though?
demeter
Yeah! You, for instance.
Of all the priests, you're my favorite priest.
And that one there is my favorite sinner!
hecate
That sounds a mite contradictory, doesn't it?
Having both a favorite priest and sinner...
demeter
Is it really? I mean, you get along swimmingly.
More than swimmingly, even...
kairos
Heh, she does have a point.
hecate
(smiles) You can say that again...
demeter
At the end of the day, you're all my deary scrunklies!
For example, over there we have my favorite brigand!
A rogue with a heart of gold!
Begoña
(smiles) Hey-hey! Right back atcha!
Yer my favorite weird priestess I've never met too!
fango
Awww, lost to the boss again...
demeter
Nah, you're not in competition with her.
You're not a brigand, you're a fighter, silly!
fango
Huh?
demeter
(frowns) You're... also not my favorite fighter.
(smiles) But you're my favorite blue-haired fighter! There you go!
(Fango jumps for joy.)
fango
Yeehaw!
demeter
And right over that way we have my favorite irredeemable jerk!
Who is not allowed to stand with us because he stinks!
Begoña
(scowls) Hey! Listen here, ya high-and-mighty runt!
He may stink, but his heart's every bit as golden as mine or Fango's!
Fango
Yeah! Don't you dare leave 'em outta this!
I'll rip you to shreds if you try!
demeter
(frowns) Hmm? Oh no, I don't mean López. I mean that guy.
(Everyone turns to see Soter lurking at the periphery.)
soter
I'm leaving, I'm leaving.
At least let me go without lobbing insults at me while I'm going...
demeter
(smiles) No promises, shmuck-face!
Begoña
Yeah, I gotta agree with her. You suck.
fango
You REALLY suck.
kairos
Big time.
hecate
I'm going to kick you in the balls.
(Soter flinches.)
Soter
Urgh...!
(Soter tries to run away, but Hecate chases him down and delivers a critical hit, killing him instantly.)

Character Descriptions

Ioke
An amoral sorceress hired to serve as warden of Percote's prison.

Dion
A mercenary hired by the prison. An impatient and irritable boor.

Mopsus
The lowest-ranking commander in the holy knights. Eager for a chance to improve his standing.

Irene
A ruthless and greedy mercenary who will do anything for riches.

David
A towering man leading a ruthless band of mercenaries in the employ of the purported “necromancer.”

Goliath
A diminutive man serving as the second-in-command of the mercenaries in the employ of the “necromancer.”

Eris
A commander of the knights Lazurite, guarding the south fort.

Eudoxus
A disgraced merchant trying to rebuild his fortune through vile methods.

Sellsword
Blades-for-hire looking for monetary opportunities.

Guard
A mix of soldiers and mercenaries tasked with keeping the prisoners imprisoned.

Inquisition
Knights of Tartaros, standing tall against heresy and insurrection.

Lazurite
The order of the knights Lazurite, sworn to Flintshire.

Ruffian
A highway robber under orders from the crook Eudoxus.