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Lagdou Ruins 9

All generic units in this level are Morgan.

Opening

(Lyon finds Tick waiting for him on the next floor.)
tick
It's me, Lyon. Tick.
lyon
I remember you... We beat you already.
Why must we fight again? You weren't all that.
tick
It was an enjoyable bout. However...
I warned you you would know my true power soon.
The time has come. Brace yourself.
(Tick discards his armor with a force that shakes the earth.)
tick
My full strength against your forces.
May the gods have mercy on you.
lyon
WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
YOUR MUSCLES ARE TOO LOUD!
tick
...Let us begin.
I have one weakness, but I doubt you'll figure it out.
lyon
COME AGAIN?!

Explaining the Joke

Tick is a minor boss in The Binding Blade, and thus was playable in Saint Rubenio's earlier hack Eckesachs. In one of Rubenio's runs Tick snowballed into an extremely powerful unit, leading to memes that he was the strongest person in the world.

Conversations

Tick

Combat

tick
(smiles) You thought you killed me? Hah!
You only tickled me!

(serious) Now let's see if you can figure out the secret.
I may look impossible to defeat now, but...
Who knows. Things might change very soon.

Defeat

tick
(smiles) An excellent fight. I congratulate you.
You tick all the boxes for an exceptional tactician.

Ending

(Lyon gathers Jude, Bazba, Saaga, Glen, and Morva.)
lyon
All right, so I'm told this is the last Postgame gag.
Still have no idea what a Postgame is.
I suppose some mysteries are best left unsolved.

Anyway, you lot are the ones who haven't participated in a gag yet.
You have been deemed the most boring characters in the hack.
So uh, I don't know. Talk about the weather or something.
Just throw something together. I'll leave you to it. Bye!

(Lyon leaves. There is an awkward silence.)
saaga
Well, that's hardly fair, is it?
Plenty of others were just along for the ride in others' gags.
I, for one, think I'm less boring than Mansel.
Seriously! He's just dead! How can I be more boring than that?
glen
...Er... Humor isn't my strong suit.
What about you?
bazba
I'm the Mighty Bazba!
Call on me if you've anything - or anyone - you want broken.
...Ain't got the talent for jokes, though. Sorry.
jude
Grrr... This is utterly ludicrous!
Why did Duessel get a gag all to himself and I didn't?!
saaga
To be fair, he didn't get a gag all to himself.
He wasn't even the main part of his gag.
jude
Yes, well, someone should gag HIM, and throw him into the ocean!
saaga
Kinky.

...What? I'm trying to be funny.
If the rest of you bores have any better ideas, I'm all ears.

glen
W-Well, my brother told me this joke once.
It was something about me moving to a valley?
I didn't quite get it, but...
Oh, wait! I just got it.
It's because my name is Glen, and glens are valleys. How's that?
bazba
I don't think I've ever heard anyone tell a joke more badly than that.
saaga
We really are the most boring losers in this stupid game.
Congratulations. I am truly proud of us all.
jude
Grumble grumble... Duessel Duessel...
glen
......
I've done nothing but suffer throughout this entire hack.

Why?

(There is another awkward silence.)
morva
Oh wait, I have to say something too, don't I?
Uhh... What would I say if I had to run away?

Morvamoose!
......
And now, the end of the Postgame.

Character Descriptions

Tick
Told you you shouldn't have underestimated him.

Titan
Gods help you...

Weapon: Fists
Tick needs naught else.

Morgan
A really memorable man.