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Lagdou Ruins 8

The BGM for this level is "Ways Distant", which is labeled in the game files as "The really bad song from FE8".

All generic units in this map are Cursed Wrys (but without the hood).

Opening

lyon
Gods, please... No more...
I can't take any more of this nonsense.
Someone please just show me to the exit.
beran
Be careful, Lord Lyon. Our next challenge lies ahead.
lyon
Thanks, Beran. You're a real asset.
beran
Thank you, Lord Lyon.
lyon
...Seriously, is this it? Is this the whole joke with you?
You're so boring it's supposed to be funny?
beran
That's the joke with me, Lord Lyon.
lyon
...Sigh...
Yeah, this has gone on long enough.
I'm sick of you all. I'm going alone from here.

Well, what are you waiting for? You can go!

beran
...I cannot do that, Lord Lyon.
You see... I am not Beran.
lyon
What?!
("Beran" reveals his true identity.)
lyon
W-What... Who are you?!
cursed wrys
Heh heh heh heh...
I am come completely out of left field!
lyon
Why do you look so... so... you know...
cursed wrys
Heh heh heh heh... Be ready!
I am different from the rest of the clowns you've fought so far.
You see, unlike them...
lyon
Yes...?
cursed wrys
I cheat!
lyon
No...!
cursed wrys
As my first attack... Writhe in agony!
I have set the map music to the worst song in the game!
(Lyon cringes.)
lyon
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Conversations

Cursed Wrys

Combat

cursed wrys
Look well, sonny boy.
Before you stands nightmare personified.

Death

cursed wrys
I may die here... But I still have one last trick...

This... is actually a ROUT map in disguise!

(Cursed Wrys cackles.)

YOU HAVE TO KILL EVERY UNIT ON THE MAP NOW!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Ending

caellach
'Aight 'aight! Welcome one, welcome all, to...
Caellach's Cavalcade of Comedy! Magvel's finest comedy night!
At least, I'm hoping it's night. Can't see the sky down here.

First off, let me introduce you to my dear pal here.
He's a grand strategist for the empire. His skills know no compare!
Known and feared all throughout the land, his name is...
Saias!

aias
Referential humor is the lowest form of comedy.
Also, you stole the title from someone else.
I am also fairly certain it is not nighttime.
caellach
Okay, fine. Let's hear YOU tell a joke, then, Mr. Party Pooper!
aias
The boy's mom told him not to reach for the cookie jar.
He ignored her and did it anyway. He was grounded.
He fell off the chair.
caellach
And you had the guts to criticize me.
aias
I never claimed to be a comedian.
caellach
Bah. Fine! Let's have some music now! Bard, you're on!
deni
Uh, right! On it!

......

(Deni begins playing "Requiem".)
nate
(smiles) And now I'm gonna dance! Hup, hup...
(Nate dances.)
nate
(frowns) Whoa--
(Nate crashes into Deni and the two fall into the water.)
deni
Auuuughhh!!
lieselott
(smiling) Ahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha... Ahahahaha!
Oh, brother... Ahahahaha! Oh my tummy... hahahahaha!
That man's wig is funny! Hahahahahahahahahaha...!
aias
Thank you. I aim to please.
lyon
...Remind me to dock your pay later, Caellach.
caellach
Cut me some slack, all right?
I've been so bored waiting for the map to end.
Stupid secret rout objective...
lyon
All the more reason to get a move on, wouldn't you say?
aias
I concur.
caellach
Sigh... Not a funny bone in the two of you.
deni
...Ow...

Character Descriptions

Cursed Wrys
The first portrait I ever made. I put it here to make Sadrika look less bad.