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Lagdou Ruins 2

Opening

(Lyon and Novala find a mogall waiting for them on the next floor.)
lyon
A generic monster?
perseus
Not just any monster. I am Perseus!
lyon
...Well met. Now, if we may just...
We're in a bit of a hurry, you see, so...
novala
Prince Lyon, come now. This is your next foe!
You cannot proceed until you have waged battle with him!
lyon
Wait, what? A generic monster?
...We ran out of ideas that quickly?
(Perseus becomes agitated.)
perseus
You jerk! Don't you get it?!
Every monster in the game is playable!

(Now, at any rate...)

A spider, a dog, a centaur, a skeleton, a gorgon...
Even the cyclops got in at the end!

Even the gargoyles got in!
They're literally just lance fliers! Slightly different wyvern riders!

lyon
That's not quite the same, is it?
We didn't recruit a proper gargoyle. I just turned Valter into one.
...That was a rather over-the-top plot point, wasn't it...
perseus
Yeah, well, why couldn't you do the same with me?
Turn, I don't know, Gheb into me or something!
lyon
Wait, but you WERE playable, weren't you?
(Perseus flails in agitation.)
perseus
But what kind of crummy role is it?!
The gorgon's summon, really? I wanna be a proper unit!
I wanna grow and show up in people's tier lists and stuff!
novala
Yes, well, we don't always get what we want.
I wanted to be the protagonist. I think I deserved it more.
Instead I have to follow this fancypants around.
lyon
...Yeah, that's enough. You die now.
perseus
Sigh... Bait and Postgame boss. That's my legacy.
Alas... Verily doth the soul ache.
Forsooth.

Conversations

Perseus

Combat

perseus
Floating eyeballs are cool... Let me show you!

Death

perseus
Okay, then. You could've just said no.
medusa
Down, boy. Back into the pocket you go.
perseus
Well, it was worth a shot.

(Perseus bounces.)

Weeeeeeeee!

Ending

medusa
Tsk tsk... Foolish mongrel.
Cyclops are no fun. They're just boring axe infantry.
No crit bonus like berserkers, either... Just, not a fun class.
It's not surprising that they were sidelined.
erkki
Well, what about you? You just use glorified magic!
You're a worse dark mage. No nosferatu, no luna...
medusa
Maybe, but I'm cool.
Everyone knows it's more important to be cool than objectively good.
erkki
I beg to differ.
wyatt
So do I. 'Sides, it's not like he got a chance!
Cyclops should get a chance to prove they're cool too.
medusa
You shut up. Nobody has ever picked you first.
wyatt/div>
...You're so mean.
penelope
Uncalled for, Lady Medusa. There's no need to be rude.
djieien
Please apologize to Wyatt. He did nothing to deserve that.
boudica
Yooooou...
Asshoooole...
medusa
Oh, all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.
Well, guess what? Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
Didn't you read any of my text in the game?
I'm like, the baddest guy in this entire thing.
fomortiis
Ahem.
medusa
Nah, I'm more evil than you.
fomortiis
No you're not.
medusa
Yes I am.
fomortiis
No you're not.
medusa
Yes I am.
fomortiis
No you're not.
medusa
Yes I am.
fomortiis
No you're not.
medusa
Yes I am.
(They continue bickering. Valter and Lyon watch from afar.)
valter
...I'm actually the baddest guy in the game, aren't I?
lyon
I dunno, I kind of became a horrible autocrat in the end.
valter
You sure did, my lord. And I loved you even more for it.
lyon
...Let's just go, shall we?

Character Descriptions

Perseus
Eyes are the most common allied monster in hacks. Let the rest have a turn!

Monster
A grotesque creature created by magic and born in darkness.