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Chapter 20x-2: Typhoon of Tactics

Objective Defeat enemy

Destroy them all

Opening

woman 1
(smiles) What an honour for the lady of House Heron herself to visit our village,
not even merchants come out here!
woman 2
(smiles) She carries herself with none of the usual noble arrogance, so polite and earnest.
woman 1
More importantly, she always pays more than is needed. Such generosity.
woman 2
I can foresee a good future if she were to become heir.
woman 1
That would require turning over centuries of tradition, but if anyone can, it'd be her.
woman 2
She might need to learn better money management though.
(Rosetta gives candy to a child.)
boy
(smiles) That was super sweet!
rosetta
(smiles) You can have another, but there's a favour I'd kindly ask of you.
boy
What is it, Lady Rosetta?
rosetta
You can just call me big sister, I care little for titles.
Have you seen a red-haired man come through from out of town?
boy
Oh yeah, Harry came back recently!
He said specifically to not tell anyone where he went though...
rosetta
He probably means not to tell anyone dangerous, but I'm not, right?
boy
Yeah!
rosetta
Just point to me on this map about where you think he went.
boy
Hmm... About here. He hides there a lot everytime he comes back.
rosetta
You can have a third chocolate for being such a good kid.
boy
You're the best, big sister!
(Rosetta leaves.)
cherise
(smirks) You're resorting to tricking kids.
There's truly no low the good Lady Rosetta will not sink to get her way.
rosetta
(frowns) Shush. It was an honourable transaction.
cherise
Sure, sure, whatever you say.
Let's catch this vile criminal before he can change his name again.
(Rosetta and Cherise step away from the village.)
cherise
It never ceases to amaze me how the people adore you for being a regular person.
You don't see people singing my praises when I wave to old ladies down the street.
rosetta
You'll have to thank all my awful predecessors for that.
House Heron does not have a history of... being regular people.
cherise
It may have taken a few centuries, but House Heron finally got there.
The first of the family to figure out how to be liked by the commonfolk.
rosetta
I'm not above feeling good about being admired, but these praises are about inconsequential matters.
I hope to one day see my praises be about what I achieve, to better the lives of all those under our house's banner.
cherise
Be sure to also cure poverty and wipe out illness while you're doing that.
rosetta
Maybe I will do that, Instructor. I can accomplish a lot in seventy years.
cherise
I can't figure out how to sarcastically reply to that level of sincerity.
(Rosetta and Cherise approach a trickster hiding in a hovel.)
rosetta
Heavybread, formerly known as The Stabber, formerly known as Killman, formerly known as Harry, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
heavybread
Well, well. What an honour for the lady of the house herself to personally come after me.
What bloody methods did you use to find me?
rosetta
You were sold out for three pieces of chocolate.
heavybread
Lies!
rosetta
It's the honest truth, as harsh as it is.
heavybread
You're mad to come on your lonesome. You know well I've slain countless, including that head retainer of yours.
What makes you confident enough to test your blade against mine?
rosetta
I'm not, but it won't be me. Instructor, all yours.
cherise
I feel the title of “Instructor” conflicts with the nature of that request, being sent out like some hired muscle.
rosetta
Maybe you can think of it a different way, Instructor.
You're demonstrating techniques to me in a practical setting.
cherise
Okay, my vanity is satisfied.
heavybread
You think so little of me that-
(Cherise strikes Heavybread several times before he can react.)
heavybread
What sort of monster are you?
cherise
This would be a regular workout if I was still on the Crescent.
heavybread
Are you proud of yourself, Heron Lady? Sending your thug to do your dirty work?
rosetta
My instructor.
cherise
Thank you.
rosetta
I never intended you harm. Instead, I'm here to offer you employment.
heavybread
And that involved beating me up?
rosetta
You would have just thought it was some ploy if I laid it to you upfront.
heavybread
Don't mean me harm, my left buttock. My everything hurts.
cherise
It took me a lot of effort to be non-lethal, you know.
Alright, my job is done. You two can yap all you want.
(Cherise leaves.)
rosetta
Our Spymaster looked into your history.
Your killings have made you infamous, but curiously, each victim was guilty of quite the array of sins, many not known publically.
We did not know what heinous deeds our retainer had done in our name, until evidence was found after you slew him.
You don't pick victims indiscriminately, you operate on a justice system.
You never hoard your ill-gotten gains, instead it finds their way to poorer places.
heavybread
That's a nice person you're talking about, but that person ain't me.
I killed those men for their gold, I just wanted a less sympathetic victim.
rosetta
However, you could've chosen easier targets, but you always refrained.
Now that our retainer is dead, we need a replacement, which brings us to you.
heavybread
Whoever kills a retainer of your house gets in line to replace them? Messed up system.
rosetta
Don't be ridiculous. It was just a coincidence this would bring you to my attention.
His replacement must be one skilled in blade and subterfuge, but many satisfy this.
What I also desired was one in touch with the needs of the people, strong principles, and critically, to be uninfluenced by various unsavoury forces within our house.
To show my sincerity, I promise you that you can walk away even if you decline.
I'll sort out something with my Lord Father.
heavybread
... I'm not so prideful to admit that a warm roof and good pay does not appeal to me.
And not being hunted by House Heron would be great. Very well, I'll be your attack dog.
rosetta
Retainer.
heavybread
Same deal. I will lay my terms upfront, I draw the line at the defenceless or the innocent.
rosetta
Those are easy terms to fulfil.
(Cherise returns.)
Cherise
You two done yapping yet? We've got trouble.
rosetta
... I hear... Is that screaming?
heavybread
From the direction of the village? But there are no bandits near here.
(Berserkers surround Rosetta.)
barry
Hoo hee hoo, Barry the Big-Brained Bandit is always right. I told you we'd find her here.
cherise
There's far too many of them, Young Lady! I'll hold them off here, go! Save yourself!
rosetta
Your first assignment comes fast, Heavybread. Let's move!
(Rosetta and Heavybread escape.)
heavybread
You're going to leave her there?
rosetta
She likes being overly dramatic.
Those bandits stand no chance against her. We'd get in the way.
heavybread
I can believe that. Stuff her, the village comes first anyways.
rosetta
Let's deal with these ruffians before they can cause any more damage.
(Pirates have landed on the shore of the village.)
pirate 1
These soft mainlanders are little match for our strength.
They never had to contend with the harshness of the Crescent.
pirate 2
They got good stuff. Even the bread tastes better here.
pirate 1
They deserve to get their stuff taken. Have it so much better than us.
poindexter
Don't forget what we're here for!
If we miss our mark because you were too busy pillaging, I'll have your hides.
pirate 2
Cap'n! There she is!
poindexter
All is according to plan.
heavybread
Where in Elis's name did all these people pop up from? What have they done?
rosetta
Identify yourselves, lowlives!
poindexter
Identify myself I shall. My name is Poindexter, the Tactical Typhoon, the greatest mind of the Crescent.
rosetta
Your ilk hail from the Crescent?
Do you know the consequences of your crimes against House Heron's citizens?
poindexter
That is beyond my concerns.
You've been dancing in the palm of my hand this entire time.
I knew you'd personally come to this village to apprehend the killer.
I knew that the infamous swordmaster would be lured away by a good fight.
I knew you'd come running to save the village, so known you are for kindness.
I didn't expect you to recruit him, but that's entirely unimportant.
You're hopelessly outmatched, at the mercy of my brilliant mind.
rosetta
If you're so confident, who has ordered this attack?
poindexter
The King, of course. He is paying a king's ransom to get this done, discreetly.
heavybread
That worked? Dumbass.
rosetta
This coward of a king meekly submits to the will of the noble houses, only exerting his authority by sending cloaks and daggers after innocent folk!
Ellerie was right about one thing, this wretch does not deserve the throne.
poindexter
I care little about these Mainland politics, I follow the gold. Now I give you a choice.
Surrender, and these villagers get to live. Let's put your reputation to the test.
young woman
Please! Surrender yourself! It's a hopeless battle anyway!
rosetta
... Heavybread. You understand, don't you?
heavybread
I'm no fool, Lady. Do what you must.
rosetta
My life is not a thing to be negotiated.
I offer you the same terms, release these villagers, and I'll let you live.
young woman
No!
poindexter
I suspected this would be the result, but it was still worth an attempt.
Golden Scarab Formation, crush this foolish noblewoman.
(Poindexter kills the hostage.)
heavybread
...
rosetta
Let it be known, that I shall spare no one who abetted in this massacre.
All victims of this tragedy, I promise you your families shall be looked after.
(A knight, seer, and wayfarer arrive behind Rosetta.)
speedwell
The Spymaster informed us about this vile ambush only this morning.
The full force of the Heron Knights is soon to arrive. Please get to safety.
rosetta
I politely refuse, Sir. This village is under my protection, the crimes were under my watch.
I shall personally bring these invaders to justice so no more innocents may be harmed.
speedwell
Justice will be carried out, Young Lady. You need not put yourself in harm's way.
rosetta
If I can not even defeat common criminals,
how can I possibly lead House Heron? Sir, my mind is set. I will fight this battle.
speedwell
To take a disadvantageous battle is foolishness, but you were always my most overachieving student.
Very well, Young Lady! Show me all that you have learned!
the curate
I have so missed a good bloodbath.
Say the word, Young Lady, and blood shall be spilled in the name of He.
encroacher
Ignore this cretin. Young Lady, if your pretty face gets marred, it's our skin on the line.
rosetta
I understand your concerns, but I've been trained by the best swordmaster this side of the continent.
encroacher
If I may insist-
rosetta
There is no more time for discussion! Glory to House Heron! Charge!
(The Curate looks at Heavybread.)
the curate
This pathetic looking thing is what we came all the way for?
heavybread
You have a problem with that?
the curate
You're a maggot compared to him.
I advise you to not step into his shoes if you value your life.
heavybread
You were buddy-buddy with that guy, huh?
Did you also do the heinous things he did? Did ol' me come and ruin your fun?
the curate
You must have tricked him, used poison. You could not have won in a fair fight.
One wrong move, and I'll see your flayed corpse sacrificed in his honour.
speedwell
What in Elis's name are you two doing? You heard the Young Lady!
narrator
Each civilian saved will cause that unit to get a second action.

Turn 3 (if Poindexter is still alive)

poindexter
This was truly an unprecedented battle of the most incredible minds.
To be able to stop my unbreakable Golden Scarab Formation...
But I have one last stratagem up my arsenal. ME!
(Poindexter promotes to Super Soldier.)

Conversations

Citizen 1

boy
You came back to save everyone! I knew it!

Citizen 2

old woman
A good save, good fellow. I'm as fast as I used to be.

Citizen 3

young woman
Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Citizen 4

man
Fuck the Cerulean Crescent!

Citizen 5

old man
I'm too old to die!

If you kill a civilian

rosetta
This is not how things should go!
(Game over.)

Rosetta Death

rosetta
I don't understand... Should I not be better than this?
I will be record as nothing more than a footnote...

Heavybread Defeat

heavybread
Argghh! My shoulder! What a poor showing from me.
Hope the Lady will make it.

Speedwell Defeat

speedwell
They've slain my steed! Young Lady, hold on!
Our knights are imminent, fight for a minute longer!

The Curate Defeat

the curate
I do enjoy showering in the blood of my victims,
but I don't enjoy seeing my own blood. Time to go.

Encroacher Defeat

encroacher
I refuse to die because of the Young Lady's mistakes.
I shall... Lie here for a moment.

Poindexter

Combat

poindexter
My greatest manoeuvre, the Typhoon Charge.

Combat w/ Rosetta

poindexter
Two generals meeting on the field is a momentous occasion, but you are no general.
rosetta
I am no general because I'm leading four people.
You're no general because you're losing to five people.
poindexter
Focusing on raw numbers, no understanding of tactics.

Combat w/ Heavybread

heavybread
Caught you, masked freak.
Let me see what's under there, I'll peel the skin from your face.
Might be doing you a favour.
poindexter
Such crassness.

Death

poindexter
Outwitted on the battlefield...
An end fitting of a legendary tactician such as myself.

Locations

House

visitor
No survivors.

Ending

rosetta
We did all we could, but many died. Simply because I had travelled here.
Curse the coward king, curse these gold-hungry adventurers.
heavybread
How do you like that, (stabs) masked freak? (stabs) Still all in the palm of your hand? (stabs) Hah! (stabs)
rosetta
There is no need to desecrate his corpse any further.
heavybread
I thought of this village as nothing more than one of my hideouts, but now I realised how I've grown attached to it, to its people.
I desperately want to blame you for bringing this calamity to them.
rosetta
I would not blame you for that. It was a failure of my duty to the people.
heavybread
But at the end of the day, I brought you here. I'm not blaming myself, so I just have to take out my anger on this pile of meat instead.
(The retainers approach.)
the curate
Picking a fight with a corpse. The only enemy you can defeat.
encroacher
Oh boy.
heavybread
You want a dagger between your eyes?
the curate
I've been hunting criminals longer than you've been alive.
Keep crying over your poor dead friends, that look suits you more.
heavybread
I'll kill you!
rosetta
Stop this at once!
Curate.
the curate
Yes, Young Lady?
rosetta
I knew you were close with that man, but I cannot prove you did not aid in his crimes.
Don't make me look for more evidence.
the curate
I understand this language. A threat.
(The Curate leaves.)
heavybread
You keep someone like him around?
rosetta
It is not by choice. He has been one of my Father's best men before I was even born.
heavybread
Bah. I hope you live up to the weight of your promises, Lady.
(Heavybread leaves.)
encroacher
Could you've not found someone of better temperament, Young Lady?
He does not even appreciate the fact you just saved his life, twice.
rosetta
He is not going through an easy time, Encroacher. He will mellow out.
encroacher
For my sake, I hope so. I'm the one who will have to deal with him on a frequent basis.
(Cherise and Speedwell approach.)
cherise
Looks like you got it all done.
Didn't need to wait for me or bring any of these knights at all.
speedwell
Instructor Cherise. Do you understand how much danger you put the Young Lady in, abandoning her to chase after bandits?
rosetta
Sir Speedwell, it was my choice. She's my instructor, not my guardian.
speedwell
She should have taken better care of her student nonetheless!
cherise
A sheltered flower does no good, my master always used to say.
Lady Rosetta is made of sterner stuff than you think.
I should know, I've taught her basically most of my tricks.
rosetta
Sir Speedwell, I am a young girl no longer, I take responsibility for my own actions.
Besides, you allowed me to go into battle, did you not? You knew I was capable.
speedwell
Under my supervision! If Spymaster Abalone hears of what we let the Young Lady do, she'll have both our hides regardless.
cherise
Please don't let her know. I do not need to get on that woman's bad side, again.
speedwell
She will know, eventually. Steel yourself, for you are about to see your pay vanish.

Some Time Later, at House Heron...

encroacher
We've been summoned because Lord Daygon is committed to a takeover of the Crescent.
the curate
It's been some time since House Heron has given us real work.
Beheading unarmed fools is only entertaining for so long.
encroacher
The Crescent is no joke, Curate.
The land itself desires blood and its people know bloodshed very well.
heavybread
Getting fearful in your old age?
We slew plenty of those so-called adventurers, they ain't that tough.
the curate
The Young Lady's sword instructor is from the Crescent. How did that go for you?
heavybread
Silence, fake priest. She was a freak of nature.
encroacher
The Crescent has a lot of those. We mustn't treat this undertaking lightly, lest we be slain due to our arrogance.
the curate
As expected of a land still suffering from the aftermaths of divine wrath.
Worry not, with my holy guidance, you shall have nothing to fear.
heavybread
The fact that the old faiths would accept someone like you is proof that Elis did us good by banishing the Gods.
the curate
Plunging humanity into a new dark age. Truly, a deed so worthy of praise.
encroacher
Stop reacting to his petty taunts.
I do not want to hear you prattle on about this religious nonsense again.
heavybread
No, please continue. I would really, really love to hear more about why-
encroacher
If we're doing this now, I am leaving regardless of our liege's summons.
(A knight escorts a lord into the hall.)
cyquin
No need to escort me further. Remain here.
yarding
As you wish, Young Lord.
(Cyquin approaches the meeting room.)
the curate
Our conquering Young Lord returns.
heavybread
And his oaf of an escort with him.
encroacher
Thank all that is good for this distraction.
the curate
What did our little lord mess up this time, Yarding?
I've got 2000 gold on him getting eyes on some peasant girl again.
encroacher
A one-sided bet. I never agreed to it.
the curate
Because you know you've lost.
yarding
As a mere retainer, it is not my place to judge the private affairs of my superiors.
heavybread
Gods, you're such a bore.
No wonder the Young Lord seeks outlets to vent his frustration, he has to keep looking at your face.
yarding
...
heavybread
If I had to wait on the Young Lord hand and foot as you do, I'd go insane.
Truly a job fitting a senior knight of your calibre, don't you agree?
Elis knows why the Young Lady hasn't taken his position already.
yarding
...
encroacher
Yarding never falls for your bait, don't bother. Although, I am mystified by Lord Daygon's actions in this matter.
Surely he understands how he is stoking the Young Lord's hatred of his sister with these comparisons and belittlement?
the curate
Perhaps he is overturning the tradition of limiting line of succession to sons.
Wouldn't that be open-minded of him, as opposed to his usual behaviour.
encroacher
Then it makes no sense for him to put so much effort into the Young Lord.
Does he truly believe the siblings will cooperate peacefully once he has passed?
heavybread
Then he must be growing senile. Only one will survive succession, and that one will be the Young Lady.
Yarding, stop being silent and weigh in.
yarding
I follow whoever my lord commands I should.
heavybread
You're a spineless simpleton, Yarding.
encroacher
I don't know what else you expected. Just leave the poor man be.
rosetta
Instructor? How rare to see you at such an occasion.
cherise
I may have missed most of these meetings, but you know my personal investment in the Crescent.
rosetta
I'm well aware. Do you miss your homeland?
cherise
Not remotely. It's a bloody, lawless, hopeless wasteland.
I count my blessings that I found an opportunity to leave.
rosetta
I thought you were more attached to it, with how much you speak of your past.
cherise
It shaped who I am, but I hold little love for that place.
Let me ask you, what do you make of your father's ambitions?
rosetta
House Heron may dominate the northern coastline, but we've never placed our banners over foreign lands.
It may benefit our house, but... We have no true justification.
cherise
That's what you're worried about? Not the practicalities?
rosetta
The resources of our house are sufficient to bring a small territory under control, but that isn't the question here.
Instructor, what do you wish to say on this matter?
cherise
The Crescent's status quo is simply dire.
The settlers are trapped in an endless cycle of temporary peace and bloodshed.
Never will they unite to tame the land and improve the livelihoods of the people.
A strong, guiding hand is necessary to end this cycle and bring a semblance of order.
rosetta
You expect House Heron to be that hand? But they'll hold no love for mainlanders.
cherise
The Crescent respects strength above all.
Crush the most outspoken with the stick and appease the rest with carrots.
They will hate you for it, but in another ten, twenty, perhaps even fifty years, once the Crescent stabilises and the monsters have been rooted out, they'll be able to see the value of your rule and forget how it used to be.
rosetta
You make it sound so easy, Instructor.
cherise
I've made my quips, but I am able to see you truly seek to better the lives of all those who live under your banner.
I hate to sound like one of those effusive commonfolk, but it truly is as rare as hen's teeth among bluebloods.
rosetta
You flatter me, Instructor.
Those adventurers we fought those months ago, are they the usual kind?
cherise
A dime a dozen.
rosetta
I see... That's who they must rely on to save the Crescent?
cherise
Tragic state of affairs, ain't it? But I am merely a swordmaster.
Don't take my word for it.
rosetta
Sounds like Lord Father and his counsel have yet to find agreement. It is time I step in.
(As Rosetta passes by the entrance to the meeting room, she sees Cyquin.)
rosetta
Are you going in, brother?
cyquin
Hmph.
rosetta
Very well. I shall see you soon at dinner.
(Rosetta enters.)
speedwell
Milord, again I beg you to reconsider.
abalone
Sir Speedwell and I stand united in this regard.
daygon
My mind is made up.
This is an endeavour we must undertake to our dominance in the inevitable war.
We need land and resources we cannot obtain, surrounded by coast and desert!
speedwell
Milord, it is easy to see what we could obtain but not what we could sacrifice.
We cannot trust the value of our so-called allies, on which we place significant faith.
abalone
What's more, we simply do not know enough about the situation on the Crescent.
The Guild will not offer us reliable information, and our network there is non-existent.
You know as well as I it is a place that produces miracles and catastrophes,
we know not of what tricks they have.
daygon
You both put far too much stock into their capabilities.
They are common labourers, at best a half-decent mercenary.
They are no match for what we have, our balloons, giants, fortress of death.
speedwell
There is also the matter of Ellerie, Milord. I did teach her for some time.
I know well she can hide quite the venomous bite beneath that shell, and she holds resentment for your... attitude towards her mother.
daygon
She is but a mere bastard without her family's support, Speedwell.
She will fold if she knows what is good for her. If she does not,
I will not lose any sleep reuniting her with the disgrace to our house.
abalone
Young Lady? Please put some sense into your father.
daygon
Rosetta? I am glad to see you have returned safely. You've come at a bothersome time.
rosetta
Father, if I may speak on the matter?
daygon
Go ahead.
rosetta
As we speak, the other great houses are embroiled in a bitter struggle, while the throne looks on helplessly.
I do not deny what Sir Speedwell and Spymaster Abalone have said about risk, but there can be no better window for us to expand our power base.
I've spoken with my sword instructor, you know she hails from the Crescent.
She tells of a land so divided they do not unite even against possible annihilation, and matters of conquest aside, we can win them over with what our rule brings, stability, protection and benevolence.
daygon
Do you see? My daughter understands the value of valour. I've heard your objections, but I will not concede. You are dismissed.
speedwell
It is as you wish, milord.
abalone
Very well. I shall strive to accomplish this with the best of my ability.
rosetta
(Hopefully, they're not too mad at me. They will see the value of this expedition.)

Character Descriptions

Rosetta
I'm Rosetta, a lady of House Heron and hopefully, something more than that.

Heavybread
The newest retainer of House Heron chosen by myself. Not easy to get along with, but has a good heart. I think.

Speedwell
The most experienced and respected retainer of House Heron. Is one of the few remaining knights in this age.

The Curate
He is certainly one of our retainers. Not liked by anyone, but he does his job well enough for Father to keep him.

Encroacher
An experienced forester and executioner in our employ. Focuses on getting her work done and cares little for much else.

Poindexter
Some scumbag from the Crescent delusional enough to think himself able to challenge House Heron.

Adventurer
They call themselves adventurers, yet they're no different to regular bandits. A bandit's welcome is what they'll get.

King's Knight
Another dog to the throne, serving a master who deserves none of their loyalty. What a worthless existence.

Citizen
An individual who lives near the coast. Has an incredibly interesting life if one actually stops and talks to them.