Unari
oren
(grins) Unari! The only person I'm looking
forward to seeing at this farce.
unari
(smiles) I could say the same. You're looking big.
Ate a whole pig before your arrival?
oren
Perhaps. And you look as handsome as
ever. All ready for some exciting action?
unari
I wish. The thought of having to see Jeziel's
face for hours is making me feel unwell.
oren
Ha, “Prince” Jeziel. He hasn't
been a prince for four decades, yet he clings on to that scrap.
unari
No matter how blue his blood is, he still needs to sit with dirtbags
like me at the same table.
oren
And don't even get me started on the
Guildmaster. I could complain for years.
unari
(serious) But enough about that, I heard about your
incident. How are you dealing with that?
oren
(serious) Incident? We solved the
Green Tide for now.
unari
What? No, I mean about the
whole business with Caliane.
oren
Well, she certainly can't make it to
this meeting. But what about her?
unari
Oren, you can't be this clueless, right?
The Coastal Coalition are going to grill
you for being complicit in her death.
As much as everyone tries to pretend
it doesn't exist, there is a peace treaty.
oren
I was acting to defend some allies.
I didn't even see the Saltsworn,
much less fight them.
unari
You don't need to convince me. You have
to convince everyone else at the table.
oren
If they reject my explanation,
what's the worst they can do,
put an embargo on me?
unari
It's not a good look. I suppose with
everything else that's going down,
maybe it won't matter.
oren
(smiles) You have my back, right?
unari
(smiles) Of course.
Sequoia
cormorant
Boss, you sure it's safe
to speak here?
sequoia
No worries, good man. This shed shelters
us from spying eyes. Are they ready?
cormorant
They're far less controlled than what was
promised. But we're almost in position.
sequoia
Of course those Oakhallers always
overpromise and underdeliver.
But you did good. The beasts will
be a nice surprise for the evening!
cormorant
You honor me, Captain. Does
anyone suspect anything?
sequoia
As usual, our plans are without a
hitch. The Guild has their usual men, and Oren doesn't even have a
posse. Perhaps he's too poor.
oren
Hey, I'll have you know I'm just
more comfortable traveling alone.
sequoia
Who are you, sneaking
on- Chief Oren?
oren
Do I look like someone who's sneaky?
I think you may just be inattentive.
cormorant
(Captain, do we silence him?)
sequoia
(Are you mad?)
oren
I heard something about beasts,
and a surprise? What's that about?
Actually, who are you lot? You're not
the regular guards at the Gathering.
sequoia
A sensible question. We're the cooks
personally hired by the good Prince.
We captured the finest of beasts as
dinner for the finest of the Crescent.
It was meant to be a fine surprise,
but I suppose it is no longer to you.
oren
We're doing dinners now? That's great,
never did like ending each Gathering cold, hungry and miserable. Could I have a look?
sequoia
The secrets of my trade are not open to
prying eyes, good man. You understand.
oren
Well, keep up
the fine work.
(Oren leaves.)
cormorant
You think he
bought that?
sequoia
I assume so. My performance was simply
marvelous. But not much else we can do.
Ending
jeziel
Late as usual, Oren.
oren
I live the furthest from
the Sanctuary.
jeziel
Plebeians make excuses to
defend their own laziness.
As expected for a town
that digs dirt for a living.
oren
For someone who looks down on our
work, you still have to buy from us.
Or that one time, just outright stealing.
jeziel
It was not stealing. It was compensation for
the insult your miners dealt to my knights.
oren
Yes, from a conflict your knights
started for being huge twits.
jeziel
I won't bother entertaining
such crude accusations.
Are you ready to sit down
and get this over with?
If you answer no and speak again:
oren
Mayor Thyme still
isn't here?
jeziel
Bah, she doesn't deserve a place
with us. Start without her.
guildmaster
We're also waiting on Caliane, but I believe
one of us has an explanation for that.
oren
Look-
unari
Arbiter, start
the formalities.
(Lilac steps up.)
lilac
I'd like to announce the, 19th, 20th?
Whatever, the somethingth Gathering
of the Coastal Coalition. Go for it.
(Lilac sits back.)
oren
So, what's the first
point of discussion?
jeziel
Oren, did you forget
to read the agenda?
oren
We had an agenda?
unari
These discussions were never going to follow
a structure. May as well give up on that.
jeziel
By the name of Elis, how hard is
it to follow a piece of paper?
guildmaster
Which is just as well, since the items on the
agenda seem targeted towards the Guild.
jeziel
Perhaps if the Guild retracted its
tentacles, that wouldn't be the case.
shaun
Sean? SEAN!
sean
Ah! Why would you do that?
I finally managed to doze off.
shaun
You don't get to fall asleep. If I'm
suffering in this cold, you are too.
sean
Shaun, you are just
the worst person.
(Monsters leap out from the shadows and kill the guards.)
guildmaster
Are we going to forget Chief Oren's
most grievous breach of the Treaty yet?
oren
It was the Tide or the Seahawks that
killed Commander Caliane, not Irinde.
guildmaster
Dear boy, that's like saying when
I behead a man, the axe is guilty.
unari
Hold on, we still
haven't fin-
jeziel
Oren should have to answer for his crime,
but the Guild is just as guilty as he is.
Plenty of pirates and adventurers are paid
with Guild coin to attack our ships and men.
guildmaster
Allegations still unproven, unlike what your
knights have done, which is plenty proven.
Arbiter! Give me the wording in the Treaty.
lilac
Hrgh. Where was it. Alright, this line.
Colonies of the Crescent must not take
offensive measures towards each other.
That's it. How does this even matter?
guildmaster
It is as clear as day that offensive
measures means only direct attacks.
I've only defended my own territory, but Prince Jeziel and Chief Oren
have no such excuse.
oren
If your territory was the
entire Cerulean Crescent!
unari
Can we take a mom-
jeziel
Offensive measures means
only unjust military acts.
Any action I've taken has
had plenty of justification, unlike that of Irinde or the Guild.
guildmaster
I believe that is your definition. And of
course, you are also deciding what is just.
unari
Arguing over wordin-
jeziel
Of course I can decide
what's just, I am a prince.
lilac
Elis, please. Strike me
down, and end my misery.
guard
Did you hear that?
mike
No.
guard
Seriously, there
was something.
mike
Look, I'm done. Hahaha, Mike is
practically deaf, hahaha.
I didn't ask for a fireball to go
off next to my ears. Just drop it.
guard
I'm serious serious.
Serious.
(Sequoia leaps out from the shadows and directs a group of monsters to kill the guards.)
jeziel
I demand compensation
for my losses!
oren
The sun would sooner
freeze over!
unari
(I'll just be silent
for a while.)
guildmaster
How very curious that-
...
oren
Huh?
Something wrong?
jeziel
Did you choke on a fly?
guildmaster
It's a windy night, but that
was definitely not the wind.
jeziel
Perhaps you're simply
hard of hearing.
(Monsters led by a Glade Gallant kill the final guards and barge into the meeting room.)
guildmaster
So this is your plan?
Pah! How brazen!
oren
What the-
unari
The performance is
over! Get to action!
jeziel
Don't let her escape!
(Jeziel and Unari bar one of the exits. The Guildmaster tries to run, but is stopped by Sequoia. He attacks her, but misses. Oren rushes over to the Guildmaster.)
oren
Out of the way!
(Oren shoves a Glade Gallant aside.)
guildmaster
A thousand thanks,
dear boy!
(The Guildmaster slips through the gap before anyone can catch her. Sequoia runs after her, while Jeziel descends on Oren.)
jeziel
You imbecile! Why would
you do such a thing?
oren
I wasn't about to see a life
taken by vile treachery.
I thought you were a man of honor, but to attempt murder on neutral
ground agreed upon for decades?
jeziel
She was your enemy
as much as ours!
oren
I will not compromise my own
integrity to reap the benefits.
jeziel
Then know that your integrity
earns you a quick death!
unari
Wait-
(Jeziel strikes Oren, severely wounding him.)
oren
Argh!
(Oren collapses.)
unari
This wasn't part
of the agreement!
jeziel
The agreement didn't involve
Oren compromising my plans!
You told me he wouldn't interfere.
unari
I didn't know he would do this
either, damned honorable fool.
But he was to be unharmed!
jeziel
If we lose the Guildmaster because of
this, I'll do more than one blow of my axe.
(Sequoia returns.)
unari
Have you caught the Guildmaster,
Captain Sequoia?
sequoia
It is with much embarrassment
that I return empty-handed.
jeziel
Did you not have the place surrounded?
How did a decrepit old woman slip through?
sequoia
Old she may be, but age has not
made her any less slippery.
Our beasts temporarily turned on
our handlers, the unreliable things, and she ran through with the speed
of a woman a quarter of her age!
unari
Relying on experimental weapons
bites us in the rear.
Should have seen that one coming.
jeziel
Why must I be so cursed by
the incompetence of others?
If it wasn't for Oren! I'll cleave
his head from his shoulders!
unari
Don't. You don't want to lose
me as an ally, Prince. Not now.
jeziel
You still defend him even as
he's left our plan in tatters?
sequoia
Friends, let's not bicker. Now
that the Guildmaster lives, we must stand together.
If our alliance fractures-
jeziel
Yes, yes. I don't need you to remind
me, and don't address me as friend.
I shall let him live in my infinite mercy.
unari
You speak truth, Captain Sequoia.
There's another loose end to tie up
before we discuss our next step. Arbiter?
lilac
Violating neutral ground and
employing heretical monsters,
I suppose you're prepared
for the Sect's wrath.
unari
That's a given. Now, would you kindly
have an extended stay here? Our treat.
lilac
And here I thought I could be home by
morning. This day gets worse and worse.
jeziel
Take the Arbiter and
Oren to the cells.
lilac
No need to get rough.
I can walk normally.
(Lilac is led away.)
unari
And get a healer.
sequoia
Let's not look so grim!
My mother always told me, if the bread is burnt,
enjoy the crunch.
jeziel
What?
unari
Is that supposed to
mean something?
sequoia
She means make the best of any
situation. I'm almost sure of it.
We have the advantage of surprise;
we can still enjoy the crunch.
unari
It will take time for news
to reach the Guild.
We must hit them at every
angle with all we've got.
jeziel
Let us discuss the exact details. Preferably
not standing around a half-dead man.
Character Descriptions
Oren
Who, me? I'm Oren. That's about it.
How do I even describe myself?
I like eating chicken baked in clay.
Jeziel
Founder and ruler of the Iron Realms.
Lost his bid for the throne decades ago,
now we have to deal with his crap.
Glade Gallant
Prince Jeziel's knights which he trained
personally. The most they've learnt is
his arrogance and haughtiness.
Unari
A good pal from my adventuring days.
The de facto ruler of the White Wastes.
Really moving up the life hierarchy.
Frostfires
Unari's very own band of fighters. If
you ask me, whatever she's paying
is not worth the weather conditions.
Guildmaster
The ancient leader of Yalunzar's
Guild. If she died in her sleep the
world would be a happier place.
Hired Hand
The Guild's dogs outfitted with armor
forged from Irinde metal. Look scary,
but are complete pushovers in a fight.
Lilac
Urgh, this guy. I feel like the Sect hate
him as much as we do so they keep
sending him even if he hates it here.
Sequoia / Cormorants
Some dodgy looking fellows who seem
to be intent on keeping to the shadows.
What's going on over there?
Elder
Some old man who appears to be
causing quite the commotion.
What's going on over there?
Florete
I have no idea why Jeziel makes his
granddaughter come to these meetings.
She's always bored out of her mind.
Militia
Guards here enforce the Sanctuary's
role as neutral territory. Very bored and
grumpy, I do not blame them one bit.
Chicken
Bawk.
War Golem
Artifical beings built for the war effort,
great as replaceable cannon fodder but
aren't very good at following orders.
Loot
Artifical beings built for the war effort,
great as replaceable cannon fodder but
aren't very good at following orders.